This "little" thing called love...

I feel a little itch at the tips of my fingers everyday... I want to come here and write new posts... I just feel that I don't have much to say at times and I simply don't write aything until I feel I do... I prefer to write an in-depth post than a simple one everyday, I feel that by doing that I might actually be creating something of content (what kind of content can be argued, but content nonetheless hehe) First of all I want to thank Shay for his compliments on the comments of my last post, it was very sweet of you my friend... and regarding you thanking me for taking your comment seriously, I have to say you are more than welcome... you made a great point and I would have been silly not to point it out... and I am afraid (happy) to say that this post will include another one of your comments... :D I am pleased to admit I am not as bitter and I sounded in the last couple of posts... no special reason I guess, I think I just came to realize there isn't much to fret over... and it's time to let life run it's course... What is meant to happen will... Shay commented on the last post and said (in part): "and couple more things i learned (on flesh) about love and the games are that in order for two people to fall in love, they both must be in a very unique and special state of mind.. that's obviously rare.. the second is that i'm not sure if there's this one person who will be all these things you describe.. maybe you can have a best friend who will fulfill the best-friend role, in addition to the men you're searching for..." I have a few things to say in response to this... 1 - Shay, I love your blog, your videos and pics... but I would definatelly like to hear more about your personal experiences... the "i learned (on flesh) about love and the games" part, made me curious... lol 2 - You are so right when you talk about the timing to fall in love... it must be right and it is incredibly rare... I have never been in love (I can hear the "awwwwwww" coming from you guys hehe), most people say that, that is sad... but it is my reality... I have friends that have been in love and I hear their description... it sounds amazing and definatelly something I intend to experience someday... My time just hasn't arrived yet... I have had crushes, but they are not the same and definatelly not as fulfulling... I know, a lot of you (lol I sound like Im speaking to an audience... hehe what a joke :P) will say that love hurts, that is not easy... I know that... the same way I have witnessed my friends in love I have witnessed them suffering from it and I can say I'm not looking at it with "utopical" eyes... but I trully believe in a line I heard a few times: "It is better to have loved and hurt than to have never loved at all" (I dont think its exactly that, but it i something like that)... I'm in no hurry, I'm not desparate, I'm not runing around trying to find love... I am living, trying to enjoy what life puts in my way and I am always open for new adventures and the future... and finally... 3 - Once more, you are right Shay... It's easier having a best friend to fulfil the best friend role in addition to your mate... but even so, I still believe that for a relationship to succeed there has to be some kind of companionship/friendship involved... I can't imagine myself with someone I don't have fun with, that I can't have an interesting conversation with and so on... It's funny, me and Moischa (my best friend, whom I love to death) used to talk about this... that we are so perfect for each other, such soulmates that any man would fail in comparison... I think that when it comes to the friendship part, yes... but the connection that exists when you are in love is definatelly diferent and much more fulfilling in a bunch of diferent ways... Again, I would like to thank Shay for the thoughtful comments he leaves here... I appreciate it a lot... and for once again giving me fuel to write... I have some things on my mind... some analysis I have been making of the world around me... so, I will be back with new posts very soon... Song of the moment (for me): "I'm not gonna write you a love song 'cause you asked for it 'cause you need one, you see I'm not gonna write you a love song 'cause you tell me it'sMake or breaking this If you're on your way I'm not gonna write you to stay If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better Reason to write you a love song today" - Sara Bareilles - Love Song - I couldn't embed the video... the link for the official video is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR5xv3pt7KI enjoy... and let me know what you guys think...

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Last one picked for the team... again...

I still wonder if I have come to terms with the fact that I am an overthinker... Last night I was telling a friend she shouldn't overthink and just go with the flow... I am known for giving great advices and being a great listener, why can't I just follow them when it comes to my own life? I know the answer to that question... The fact is that it's much easier being the spectator and give a balanced and impartial view on a matter you are NOT involved... That's for sure... I hear myself giving my friends the best advice I can possibly imagine and I just wish I could follow them, I wish i could be impartial with my own life... But, no... Not only I don't follow them, i also over analyse EVERY little thing in my life... which is useless cause life is unpredictable and full of surprises (here comes the cliche lol)... Shai, a friend from school, commented on my last post and made an extreme valid point... Part of it said: "i must say that i think that some games are inevitable and that's part of human nature. and i'll tell you how i know that; take small children for example, they learn that if they have two parents, and one (let's say the mother) is chasing them all day long, feeding them and dressing them - they feel less oblige to show there love back.. " He is absolutely right... It is part of the human nature... We tend to appreciate the people closest to us less and less... If the person is always there, ready to be by your side, you chose the person furthest, hardest to get... We take that little behavior from when we were children to our love life... We meet someone, have a great time... but we still want to feel part of the chase... the chase is what makes it worthwhile... I wonder though... The chase has to end at some point hasn't it? people do commit to one another eventually, dont they? What's the trigger for that? Do people just get tired of the chase? or are they just settleling cause it's easier? What happens to people like me, I'm relatively new at the dating game (for reasons I'm not going to get into at this specific moment...), I dont know the rules and I am a very impulsive person... what am I supposed to do?? I was reading a Brazillian blog these days called "O Manual do Cafajeste", in english is something like "The Womanizer's Manual", where this 24 year-old guy posts his adventures as a single guy and gives tips to women... I find it extremely interesting (even though the rules are NOT the same here in Israel and back in Brazil... I do plan to analyse the diferences in a future post... I just need to do some research with my Israeli friends...) and at the same time depressing... Because honestly, each post I read there makes my hopes of finding someone special someday go downhill... I mean, men lie, cheat, complain, play games, put you in the "fridge" (I'll get to that when I analyse the cultural diferences)... You need to act and react in a certain way otherwise he wil *PUFF* disappear and so on... It's scary out there... and when you read all these thingls you are probably doing wrong and the things they do just to get laid... It's easy to think "HAHAHA... Im done"... I mean, what's the point of all the suffering?? Is there a silver lining out there somewhere?? I do like to believe there is one... That there is someone out there for all of us... Someone that needs you in their life, can't go a day without hearing your voice, seeing your face, kissing your lips... Someone to be by your side when you need it most... Someone to laugh with... someone to cry with... a lover, a best friend... The air you need to keep on living... With that in mind... I was watching American Idol the week before last and they had a live performance of "No Air" with Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown... The song is great and the lyrics are perfect for this post... As I was listening to it I realised that, that's all we can hope... Someone in our lives that is the air we breathe... (while the sentiment in reciprocated... off course) (without the whole, "not being there" part... lol) Enjoy the live performance below: PS: from this post on I will recoment a song that fits my mood at the moment I wrote it or the content of the post...

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The games people play... Is it worth it?

Yeah guys (as if anyone reads this thing... lol)... Fiding someone interesting to spend some time with is definatelly not a piece of cake... We all know that... even when we do find someone that might be worthwhile and there is a connection, there are SO MANY games to be played, that if you don't know the rules you are screwed... What's up with that?? Im serious... I know that half of the pleasure is the chase and bla bla bla... but if there is a real mutual connection, what's the matter with cutting all that crap and just having fun?? I feel like I am playing a real life game of monopoly, if I make the wrong move I'll have to declare bankrupcy in the end (in this case, simply be alone)... How is that fair to ANYONE? I just think it isn't, at all... The whole: "If I call him now he'll think Im too desperate" crap... pisses me off... I swear... Because honestly (I m talking for myself here) it DOES NOT mean that... All it means is that I might be thnking about him at the moment... and him calling back or simply showing at least the minimum amount of interest is not gonna open a Pandora's Box of clingness (honestly, I am SOOO not like that)... I am sick and tired of me and my friends analysing every little thing... Because no one acts the way they mean anymore... it's all a matter of apperances I guess... no one wants to seem to want anything special or worthwhile, in some cases they actually don't... That's beside the point here... I know I am young with a lot of life ahead of me... But I can't help but wonder (sex and the city flashback right there... lol) is it ever going to get better or even simpler?? Why can't it be simple... We have fun, I like you, I'm attracted to you... Let's spend some time together and see what happens?? Are the games really better than that?? Or are we just used to them? If I don't know the rules, what's my future then? I believe wholehartedly that when it matters, things should be as simple as can be... No rules, no games... Just you being you... How much more real can it get? Honestly? Aren't you tired???

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Taking charge...

After more than a decade surfing the World Wide Web (Ouch! Im getting old lol) it still amazes me the thing we can find online. Last night I was doing my daily run through of my favorite blogs, and I came across a list on http://www.lista10.org/ (Its in portuguese :P - Original List: http://listverse.com/bizarre/top-10-incredible-recordings/) the list was of the top 10 incredible recordings of all time... Number 9 is a 44:30 minute recording of the Jonestown massacre... A bit of the background: "Jim Jones was the American founder of the People’s Temple group. The group became infamous after the November 18 1978 mass suicide/murder in Guyana where the group had moved after rising tensions in the USA. Nine-hundred-and-nine people drank cyanide after Jim Jones ordered his men to kill visiting Congressman Leo Ryan and numerous members of his entourage. In this horrifying recording you hear the last 30-45 minutes of Jones directing his followers to poison their children and then themselves. At one point one of the female voices on the tape is heard to say “It’s okay - they aren’t crying because of pain - it is just because of the bitter taste). Some of the bodies found had died of forced cyanide injection or gunshots. Jones was found dead of a gunshot wound to the head." I heard the whole recording last night, and it left me in shock... It was one the most horrid things I have ever heard... by the end you can hear babies crying and Jim Jones telling the mothers present to keep them quiet... one of the babies cry gave me a chill down my spine... The end of the recording is the loudest silence you'll ever hear... Now, you aske me why have I brought this up... That recording made me think, made me think why would 909 people do something like this? why would you let yourself be manipulated into "laying down your life", as jim Jones put it on the tape? He states that death is preferable to living in this inhumane world, is that so? This tape in from 1978, we can say that world is worse than it was then, cant we? Is it time for a world mass suicide? Should we give up hope of making this a better world and "lay down" our lives??? I don't know about you, but my answer is a resounding NO WAY!!!! Yes, the world is far from perfect, people are suffering in a lot of places, peace is practically a curse word in the middle east... But, there is still a lot to live for, isnt there? The birth of a new child... Sunsets, sunrises... Nature... Love... It might look like there really isnt much hope and that there is nothing to be done about it... But, that is exactly why we got to where we are... It's our job to not sit idle and watch it all go down... It's our job to something, even a small something... We usually think, "what can i do, Im only one person"... If we ALL think like that, we ARE doomed... You are ONE person, but if every ONE person out there do at least a little something... There is hope for us yet... Recycle, Use biodegradable bags when going to the store... something small can go a long way... I want to leave the best world I can to my children... and so should you... I know this post was a bit off my usual... But I felt I needed to say it... :D

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Just another Tel Avivian tale...

Inspiration comes from the craziest places I guess... Today (yesterday already :P) I had a very bittersweet day, Vivi left and my life is sadder because of it. I don''t want to dwell on that today, but i have to say that thinking about all we went through these past 9 months and a half, puts an amazing smile on my face, it even makes me laugh out loud at times... Moving on... Last night was our last night out, a lot of alchohol involved, drinking from 6pm till 5am... bar/club hoping... It was definatelly a FUN girls night out... cut to today = major HANG OVER... But, come on... It's friday, and I was not gonna stay home on a friday night :P specially since now Im on my Pessach break from school.... YAY!!! - why do i always get side tracked? lol Well, sometimes staying home is the best choice, specially on a night like tonight... Hung over (meaning no alcohol was gonna make its way to my digestive system), tired for lack of enough sleep and simply lack of the "let's have fun" attitude (yes, i am human and yes, sometimes im just not in the mood to party... who would have guessed? Right?)... All that resulted in a dragged night a lot of walking and no patience at all for the whole "waiting for the club selector to stop being a douchebag and realize he is NOT the king"drama, and let us in... Which ended up in me and my friend coming back to the club we started the night in... 3am, Im done... Too tired, too cranky, too many jerks around... My friend gets a cab home and I wait for my ride (my sweet and amazing dad). There I m sitting on a window sill when I hear this dialogue (In english): Guy 1 -"so, what do I do now?" Guy 2 - "go back and talk to those 2 girls at the end of the bar" G1 - "ok" - and he leaves few minutes later... G1 - "what do I do now?" - Are you kidding me?? People actually do stuff like this? LOL G2 - "say you are leaving and ask for her number" G1 - "To which one I ask, th one I loked the most or the one I have been talking more to?" G2 - "The one you chatted most with" G1 - "Ok" - and leaves again Another guy appears and stands right next to me... which leads to this dialogue: G3 - "I dont know what to do" G2 - "Start a conversation with some girl, start one up with the one nex to you. Ask her how her night is..." - AKA me!!! lol, seriously,as if they were speaking a secret language or I was deaf... LOL ... G3 turns to me asks: G3 - "How is you night going?" - Am I being Punk'd? Where is Ashton? Seriously... Me - "It's over, Im going home" - no, I wasn't rude... I had a smile on my face... :P ... G3 turns to G2 and says: G3 - "She said her night is over and she is going home" - ROTFL G2, the dating guru... cof cof, takes over and talks to me... We have a quick but nice chat... He leaves and so do I... To complete the journey... Im at the sidewalk waiting for my ride and G3 passes by and says: "Need a ride?" and politely say no and he leaves... I have to addmit, the night WAS so over, but that whole situation totally saved it... :P A quick update In the best Murphy fashion, the whole visit from the radio guys never happened... hahahahahahaha The best thing about that?? The reason... Apparentely the RamFm radio station does not have the right permits to work (they have been on fr more than an year... unbelievable :P) so 8 of the people that work there were actually arrested the night before the day of the visit, including the guy that was coming... They were released, but put into house arrest... LOL.... I swear, these things only happen here....:P 'till next time :D

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