And surprisingly enough, I'm okay with that. Yeah sure, the dying part would suck, and it would probably hurt like hell to get torn to bits, but once it's over and done with, what would there to worry about? I'm a Zombie, baby!
Now I get that most people probably wouldn't be as okay with just handing themselves over to a zombie as a midnight snack. Survival is instinctive after all. With that in mind, I'd like to know, What is your Zombie survival plan?
Luckily, I'm here to talk strategy to surviving a zombie invasion. Now is the time to start asking yourself: Where am I gonna go? What am I gonna do? How long can I survive?
Don't get me wrong. My intention today is not to cause wide spread panic. Think of this more as a PSA, because I don't want to have to tell you, "I told you so," as I'm feasting on you. Yes, turns out that in my after undead life, I'm a pretty caring Zombie.
Anyhoo, earlier today on twitter, Julie Kagawa (author of The Iron King and The Iron Daughter) and I were pretty much in agreement that In Case of Zombies, the best place to go would be Wal-mart. And not just any Wal-mart will do, you have to make sure you end up at a Supercenter Wal-mart. International peeps, please tell me you have some sort of equivalent. Some huge super store that stocks food, supplies, clothing, books, toiletries, items that can be used as weapons and has public restrooms.
Once you pick out which Wal-mart you will flee to, be sure to shop there periodically to inconspicuously make a map of the layout of the store, note the days new stock comes in, and memorize the number and locations of the exits. Better yet, start dating a Wal-mart employee, preferably one that works the grave yard shift. Come on! You have got to know it is called the grave yard shift for a reason, right? And people who work these shifts think of these things all the time. In fact, they are probably the most knowledgeable on survival tips.
After you have planned out which Wal-mart you will take over and have married a Wal-mart employee, you are going to want to do practice runs. Yes, they are going to be kind of tricky to pull off, and you will probably get frowned upon a lot, but think of it as invaluable survivor training.
Practice testing out several driving routes to Wal-mart from your home, then from your work. Time yourself. Make sure you are never more that ten minutes away from any given Wal-mart location. Learn how to hot wire a car in the event that yours is unavailable when the Zombie Apocalypse strikes. Practice driving over speed bumps and dead people at high speeds without flipping the car over. Believe me, it's a lot harder than it seems.
Well, I think that is the best I can do to help you get prepared. Trust me when I say, it is important to create a plan. Everyone is doing it. Even Rachel Vincent! See:
On your way out of here, make sure to check out this great post on How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse in Wal-mart, which shares tips on secluding your area, freezing your food, growing food, looking for weapons, procreating and exercising... all in a Wal-mart! Sounds fun, doesn't it.
Thank you to everyone who entered and took the time to make some great reading recommendations! I'm so excited to check out the new-to-me authors suggested.
And TX sized hugs and big, sloppy kisses to Larissa's for inviting me to guest post on her blog this week. I had so much fun! Quick plug, you can find me goofing around anytime over at my blog, The Unread Reader. Hope to chat with y'all again soon!