I'm back, and much sooner than you expected hehe. This feature started from a need to share personal things and like I mentioned in the previous post, this time I'm going to focus on my constant struggle with losing weight.
When I was a kid I was very athletic. I played so many sports and I even competed in swim meets. However, at the age of eleven, I started feeling a lot of pains in my knees and after visiting a few doctors I found out that I have Poli-Rheumatoid Arthritis Juvenile, which means that I have an inflammation in all the joints of my body.
From that moment on my life was never the same. Even before all that, I was never the popular kid, I tended to fall under the "dorky kid" category and when I didn't even have sports to back me up, I became the chubby dorky kid. You can imagine that my self-esteem took a nosedive and being bullied definitely didn't help.
To help contextualize my childhood, you guys need to understand that I love my mom, but she has always been very controlling and strict. For the longest time, I didn't really have a personality of my own, her demands and punishments were too much for me to take, so much so that for 3 years (from 11 to 13 years old) I was in deep depression. I wasn't happy at home or at school, so I lived for the time I could go to bed and simply sleep.
Well, from that period on, until I was about 16, that was my life. Things started changing in 2001, when I moved with my mom and stepdad (my parents divorced when I was 14) to a different city. There I started asserting my psychological independence and I finally made friends that allowed me to find out who I really was.
Let's jump to 2006, before I get too sidetracked LOL. That was when I decided to do the Atkins diet for a couple months, resulting in me eating less from then on and consequently losing 70lb. Whilst losing all that weight, was when I started realizing some very interesting things. I have always been outgoing, but when it comes to boys, I suck (not in a good way) and because of that I started actually dating, pretty late in life. When I lost most of the total pounds I ended up losing, I thought things would change automatically, and boy, was I wrong?!
I got really depressed that things didn’t magically become better and while opening up on the subject to a friend, she pointed out that there was no use in changing appearance if there is no attitude adjustment. I woke up to it then and luckily made a new friend that was just who I needed at that moment. She was chubby as well and had a very healthy self-esteem. I learned so much from her and I will be forever grateful.
Halfway through 2007 another huge change came along, I moved to Israel to live with my dad, who had moved there 2 years before. It was the most amazing experience of my life. Living 3 years in Tel Aviv was an incredible adventure. However, during my last year there, I let go of any discipline I had and started gaining all the weight back, even more than before actually.
So here we are, 2 years after I came back to Brazil in April 2010, leaving Israel 92 lb heavier. The weight is awful for my health and it has come to a moment that I need to buckle up and do what is necessary. So, I decided to start another diet. What I am doing now is similar to weight watchers but it's online. I pay for it monthly and I get help from nutritionists that evaluate my weekly development and give guidance. It is MUCH slower, but I am drastically changing my eating habits and 11 weeks in I have lost 22lb =)
One thing I want to say before finishing up this post. After all that I have been through, I have come to realize that having an "internal" makeover is just as important, if not more so, than the physical one. I have lost and gained many pounds, but the way I feel about myself and my attitude have changed and THAT is something I have much more control over. All that makes me think that if I had the same frame of mind I have right now, back when I was in my late teens, I would have been much happier.
Hope I didn't bore you all with my story. Thank you for all the support and love you have given me in the previous post, you guys rock!
I would love for you share some of yours as well =)
Me now =D
Thanks for stopping by and I'll see you soon,